What’s New With The Crew? 8/28

Take a quick trip around the bend with a few of my friends’ blogs, won’t you?

Arnold Benedict had two problems: A bum for a roommate, and, after evicting said roommate, an empty room full of potential. Instead of exploiting said room for profit, he built a camera obscura!

…if you’re like me, you have a lot of time on your hands, and not a whole lot of money [re: broke as shit from three paragraphs above], and no immediate desire to move someone into that empty space. So I did some research and decided to look into building a camera obscura [after getting denied access previously on account of I'm 'not an old person' (statement made by a security guard at the senior recreation center in Santa Monica in response to 'can we go in there?')].

-Read more at Down in the Well

Over at Notzombies.com, between recaps of True Blood and Bachelor Pad (yes, Bachelor Pad), NotZombies discusses the day, this week, when his lunch hour went action movie.

At that exact moment, less than a block away, an armed officer of the Beverly Hills Police Department was screaming into his shoulder mic for reinforcements. “I NEED BACK UP! GOD DAMN IT, I AM IN THE SHIT HERE! CALL SWAT! FUCK, CALL THE GOD DAMN ARMY! JUST GET ME SOME FIREPOWER AND GET IT HERE 10 MINUTES AGO!”

-Read More at NotZombies

Inkoo at Thinkovision recaps Mad Men

The Don v. Ted feud had a brilliant dénouement, but the upstart rival storyline was a fly I kept swatting away.  We didn’t know enough about the Pete-ish Ted to gauge whether he posed a real challenge to Don, making the feud hard to care about — though to get the attention of the New York Times, Ted must be a pretty gifted self-promoter, if not a great ad man.

-Read More at Thinkovision

Amy weighs in on Piranha 3D with her review for Boxoffice.com

Are you a breast man? An ass man? Or a fish man? Either way, there’s plenty of all three in this bloody spree by French director Alexandre Aja. The script is ridiculous, the bodies are great and the film skates so long on the line between knowingly bad and bad that by the time the body count hits 100 and the booby count hits 1000, we’ve lost track of the difference.

-Read more at Amyweekly

And Ross Lincoln has been up to… update your blog, Ross! 

Warren G and Nate Dogg’s "Regulate" Synopsis

On one of those cool, clear nights typical in Southern California, Warren G is driving around, looking around for women to have sex with. He’s chosen to engage in this pursuit all alone.

Nate Dogg, however, has just arrived in Long Beach, seeking Warren G. Ironically, Nate Dogg passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. He insists to the women that there’s no cause for the excitement.

Warren G makes a left at 21st and Lewis, where he sees a group of young men playing dice. He hops out, excited to find people to play with but discovers that they don’t want to play dice. Instead, they would rather steal his goods. Once they pull out their pistols, Warren G realizes he’s stuck.

Nate Dogg, meanwhile, is trying to avoid the women who saw him earlier. Some of them might be prostitutes, and he isn’t interested in prostitutes right now. As he evades the potential hookers, he sees Warren G being held up by some young toughs.

Warren G, unaware that Nate Dogg is nearby, can not believe he’s being robbed. In fact, he is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers would like to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Nate Dogg sees these unfortunate proceedings and realizes that he may have to shoot people with his gun.

Despite Long Beach’s reputation for crime, Warren G can’t believe that a hold up would happen there, especially to him. As he imagines himself escaping through supernatural means, he notices that Nate Dogg is there.

Nate Dogg has seventeen bullets to expend on this group of thieves and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares with Warren G the credit for neutralizing the situation, though clearly Nate Dogg did all of the hard work. In fact, Nate Dogg quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren G before letting Warren know that there are females nearby if he’d like to have sex with any of them.

Warren recalls that it was, in fact, sex with women for which he’d ventured out into the night and is thankful that Nate knows where there are women, who may or may not be prostitutes.

Nate soon finds the women he’d left before, one of whom likes chubby men. She comes up with a flimsy excuse about her car having broken down in order to persuade Nate Dogg and Warren G to allow her to come with them. Soon, Warren G and Nate Dogg are driving with a car full of women to the Eastside Hotel for an orgy, which reinforces Nate’s earlier suspicion that the women were prostitutes.

Warren G and Nate Dogg explain their G Funk musical style before Nate Dogg issues a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren G will regulate the situation. This could be taken to mean that Nate Dogg will murder them while Warren G stands nearby and shares credit afterward.

Parents Just Don’t Understand: Synopsis

The Fresh Prince begins by expounding on the universal inability of parents to understand their children, suggesting that neither time nor location would make a difference in parents recognizing their kids’ potential to err. He suggests, however, that it is incumbent on children to recognize the dimwittedness of adults and just accept it as a given.

To illustrate, Fresh Prince launches into the first of two vignettes, recollections from his own youth. In this first flashback, Fresh Prince’s mother takes him and the rest of the family shopping for school clothes at the Gallery Mall. At first, Fresh Prince doesn’t mind his mother’s efforts. Soon, however, she begins bugging. She begins selecting clothes for Fresh Prince that are horribly outdated, and he rebels, insisting that he does not want to look like a member of the rock band Sha Na Na. Unfortunately, she prevails, and, inevitably, the first day of school arrives. He goes to school where he is ridiculed, presumably because of his clothing. When he informs his mom, she retorts with the platitude that “if they were laughing you don’t need them ’cause they’re not good friends,” which, technically, is sound advice. Fresh Prince, understands, though, that the torment will not be a one-time occasion and attempts to convince his mother that mitigating the ridicule by purchasing more current clothing might be worth the effort. Unfortunately, she remains unconvinced. It is through illustrating his unsuccessful efforts at swaying his parent that Fresh Prince hopes he can convince other youths that the argument is not worth the effort.

Next Fresh Prince presents another scenario: In this situation, his parents have left town for a week, leaving behind their brand new Porsche (while his parents do not remain abreast of current trends in fashion, they are up-to-date on automotive trends). He experiences a moral dilemma over whether or not he should borrow the car but soon rationalizes that it would be ok if he were to take for just a little spin. While driving, he passes an attractive woman walking down the street. After getting her attention, he invites her to take a ride in the car. Understandably, she is wary of getting in a car with a stranger, but Fresh Prince soon convinces her that ownership of an expensive car should assuage any fears she’d have about his character. Convinced, she hops into the car and soon the couple find themselves at McDonald’s, which would seem to undercut the facade presented by the Porsche, but the woman is too interested in caressing Fresh Prince’s thigh to notice.

Fresh Prince is excited by having the girl’s hand on his thigh and begins speeding. Soon, they are pulled over by the police, who detain Fresh Prince but send the girl back home. It turns out she is a twelve-year-old runaway. The police inform Fresh Prince’s parents of the situation, and they return from their trip to take Fresh Prince home from the police precinct. Both parents, visibly upset, express their frustration through physical abuse. It is difficult for them to understand how easily a situation might arise in which a child would steal a car, pick up a prepubescent runaway with romantic intentions, and speed through a neighborhood. It is even more difficult for Fresh Prince to understand why they can’t understand how that might occur. So, one last time, he urges the youth of America to accept their parents’ lack of judgement.

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