Midseason Replacement
Earnest Pettie, online
Earnest Pettie, online
Aug 28th
Why do glee clubs and college acapella groups exist? Because there’s strength in numbers. You can diss one scrawny lover of vocal music, but the time and effort required to diss an entire group requires a bit more effort than the payoff is usually worth. I have always had a soft spot for these groups, but I’ve fallen hardcore for a certain substrain of these a capella groups. I love groups that cover current hip hop and pop songs, taking something that was already cool, making it geeky, but pushing the geekiness to an extreme that is wonderful. The most recent of these videos to become popular is this Columbia/Barnard cover of a Dr. Dre classic.
This is a cover of Ben Fold’s cover, and what pushes this video into the realm of geeky cool is the costuming choices the girls have made. Tennis racquets? That’s the whole nine!
Of course, I’ve amassed a number of other favorites over the years. Here a few I consider classic.
The Final Countdown
I borrowed a friend’s time machine and went back to 1996 just so that I could feel ok suggesting that this choreography is the bomb. After using that slang I returned to the present because in 1996, watching video on the internet meant using Quicktime and waiting half an hour to download ten seconds of postage stamp-sized video over Compuserve.
Gangsta’s Paradise
This is by one of my favorite acapella groups, UCLA’s Scattertones. Their b-girl stances and posturing are enough to make this video killer, but it’s the when you get to the bridge, where they kick the choreo into high gear with a step routine, that this video begins to soar. Even Coolio responded to this video on Youtube because it was so awesome. Coolio doesn’t just respond to anyone– unless you start by saying “I’m an agent, and I’m pretty sure I can sell your brand of feel-good party rap with gangsta feel to nostalgic 30-somethings in the Midwest.”
Harder Better Faster Stronger
This Daft Punk song was unavoidable on the Internet for a while. It’s popularity coincided with the birth of Youtube, and there were at least two other wildly popular viral videos based on the song. For me, this was more about the strength of the performance than the charisma of the performers or any other wow factor. I also like that the group is called the Carleton Knights because the group may not have been named for him, but who doesn’t think of Carlton from the Fresh Prince when thinking about glee clubs?
Just Dance
Normally, I disqualify songs that include musical accompaniment, but PS22 can not be bound by anything, least of all my arbitrary rules. These kids are amazing, and have several stellar covers under their belts, including Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger. My fear is that these kids will attempt to enroll at High School Musical’s East High in a few years, only to discover that it exists only in film, and then layers of their reality will fly away Inception-style. “People don’t like acapella?” “The people on Glee are autotuned?” “Our teacher isn’t cool outside of school?”
I love Fox’s Glee. Glee has made this kind of music acceptable in the mainstream, but Glee actually does this kind of music a disservice. The vocals on the show are sometimes painfully post-produced, and only Lea Michele has a voice strong enough to make you forget about the instrumental accompaniment. That’s why I’m thankful for all the groups who have come up with their own quirky performances and uploaded them to the net over the years. Here is one bonus video for those of you who have made it this far.
Videogame Medley:
Aug 28th
Take a quick trip around the bend with a few of my friends’ blogs, won’t you?
Arnold Benedict had two problems: A bum for a roommate, and, after evicting said roommate, an empty room full of potential. Instead of exploiting said room for profit, he built a camera obscura!
…if you’re like me, you have a lot of time on your hands, and not a whole lot of money [re: broke as shit from three paragraphs above], and no immediate desire to move someone into that empty space. So I did some research and decided to look into building a camera obscura [after getting denied access previously on account of I'm 'not an old person' (statement made by a security guard at the senior recreation center in Santa Monica in response to 'can we go in there?')].
-Read more at Down in the Well
Over at Notzombies.com, between recaps of True Blood and Bachelor Pad (yes, Bachelor Pad), NotZombies discusses the day, this week, when his lunch hour went action movie.
At that exact moment, less than a block away, an armed officer of the Beverly Hills Police Department was screaming into his shoulder mic for reinforcements. “I NEED BACK UP! GOD DAMN IT, I AM IN THE SHIT HERE! CALL SWAT! FUCK, CALL THE GOD DAMN ARMY! JUST GET ME SOME FIREPOWER AND GET IT HERE 10 MINUTES AGO!”
-Read More at NotZombies
Inkoo at Thinkovision recaps Mad Men
The Don v. Ted feud had a brilliant dénouement, but the upstart rival storyline was a fly I kept swatting away. We didn’t know enough about the Pete-ish Ted to gauge whether he posed a real challenge to Don, making the feud hard to care about — though to get the attention of the New York Times, Ted must be a pretty gifted self-promoter, if not a great ad man.
-Read More at Thinkovision
Amy weighs in on Piranha 3D with her review for Boxoffice.com
Are you a breast man? An ass man? Or a fish man? Either way, there’s plenty of all three in this bloody spree by French director Alexandre Aja. The script is ridiculous, the bodies are great and the film skates so long on the line between knowingly bad and bad that by the time the body count hits 100 and the booby count hits 1000, we’ve lost track of the difference.
-Read more at Amyweekly
And Ross Lincoln has been up to… update your blog, Ross!
Aug 21st
I have a lot of reasons to brainstorm when away from the computer: blog posts, script ideas, jokes, etc…. I have never been one of the kinds of guys who has been able to use more traditional means of keeping track of ideas. I can’t handle the embarrassment of talking into any device to record ideas for later. I get embarrassed doing that even in the privacy of my own home. On the other hand, I almost never have a pen and pad handy. If I have one, then the other is inevitably missing. The one way I have been able to keep notes is digitally. When I bought my first palm pilot, I finally had something that I could keep track of and use all the time for jotting down ideas. Then I lost it. That is the problem with using non-networked digital devices to keep track of anything. When the device is gone– so are your books, movies, music, and ideas. An ideal solution for me and, I assume, many others, would be to use one of the devices we keep on ourselves and store the information remotely.
When you think about it, those little bits of ideas that come to you and must be jotted down or else be forgotten are ideal for microblogging. Think Twitter. Unlike the ideas released into the Twitter ecosphere, these ideas are not meant to be seen by the public. After all, they are the seeds that must grow into full blown ideas. They have to be private. They should be hidden away and stored in your Integrated Digital Journal Idea Tracker, your IDJIT.
The Core:
The core of the service is the IDJIT site, to which all of the IDJIT clients send your updates. Like other microblogging services, your updates are listed chronologically from the most recent entry through the oldest. That is the primary microblog view with which we are all familiar. You may, however, opt for a journal view, which reorders your thoughts from the oldest through the newest and removes timestamps. Instead of the standard microblog display, this view takes place in a text editor screen. Additionally, you may tag your entries with different subjects and interact with those subjects as their own idea threads.
Interacting:
There are many ways you may send your brainstorms to yourself. You may send text messages from your cell phone, instant messages from your IM client, or E-mail. These provide you with standard text functionality. Mobile App interaction would extend your functionality by allowing you to add images or voice (which would be transcribed).
Incentive:
I have not thought this through entirely, but maybe the standard interaction would be free, but you would have to pay to interact by mobile App. The fee per update would be minimal. Maybe 2 cents. 1 cent would be the fee, and 1 cent would go into the user’s account. Thus the more the user interacts with the service through the mobile app, the greater his or her personal account grows, and at the end of each month, the total savings is transferred to the user through Paypal. That way it feels as if the user is getting a bonus just for being creative and brainstorming with IDJIT.
These are just my initial ideas on the service. I’ve been juggling these ideas in my mind over the past couple days, probably because I don’t have an IDJIT yet.
Aug 14th
I have a superpower. When a commercial break interrupts a television program I’m watching, I can disappear completely into my head for the duration of the commercial break. I don’t need the commercial skip on my Tivo because I’ve trained myself to skip them. That’s one of the reasons I was surprised when my wife pointed out to me something very interesting about an ad for the Chrysler Town and Country minivan that I’m sure must’ve passed before my eyes hundreds of times without any notice. The ad depicts a young boy being challenged to a race home from school by some of his classmates. Once he makes it to his mom’s minivan, he taunts his friends as his mom pulls away. Check it out.
All fun and games, right?
Well, if you watch the ad without audio, it become another ad, entirely. It then becomes an ad about a poor kid being picked on by bullies at school. They wait for him after school’s out and chase him all the way to his house, where the mama’s boy leaps into the safety of his mom’s minivan and rolls away, taunting his tormentors. I’ve added a little different music to the commercial to better underscore the point.
Poor kid!
The best part is once you’ve had the benefit of watching it this way, it becomes obvious how tacked on the kid’s voice-over is in the official commercial. That leads me to wonder what the commercial was originally like. I imagine the tagline was “Chrysler Town and Country. The next best thing to returning to the womb.”
Aug 8th
Many years ago, I put together a book of my short stories and essays, comprised of most of my output up until that time. It included everything from a short story I’d written for an application to the University of Chicago that I never sent in to recent blog entries. I whipped out Adobe Pagemaker, put a book together, and uploaded it to Lulu.com for sale. I was working at Kim’s Mediapolis in New York at the time, and the guy who was running the book department there kindly allowed me to display my book for sale inside the store. I sold less than a handful of copies. That didn’t really bother me. I was just happy to have accomplished something like that.
Looking back, some of the work was juvenile and some of it was very funny. It was a mixed bag from which, if I ever publish another compilation, I might retain about half the work. I’d completely lost track of the book until I was on a Writing subreddit and noticed that someone had made a digital version of their book available for free download in order to receive feedback. I did the same. The reason I bring it up here is if you’d like to download a copy of a six-year-old book, filled with the ramblings of an 18 to 25 year old me, now is your chance!
You can download a digital version of “Party Tricks! The Book” for free from lulu.com. I promise the next book will be a grab bag of slightly higher quality. Oh, and the download is a PDF so it will work in your E-Book readers!
Jul 18th
Some of the most popular trends in contemporary gaming can have their roots traced back to earlier games that were definitely popular but whose impact on gaming rarely get the recognition they deserve. Here are just five games I think deserve more recognition for their impact on gaming.
The first time I played this game, it wasn’t yet Morning in America and the cast of Diff’rent Strokes all had bright futures ahead of them. It came on a cassette tape for the tape drive on my Commodore Vic-20 computer. Some of you may be thinking “tape drive?” Others of you may be thinking “cassette tape?” Yes, in the early days of personal computing, you were as likely to find games on cassette tapes and cartridges as you were to find them on floppy disks. (I’m pretty sure someone just said “floppy disk?”)
This game is probably the simplest computer game employing graphics you’ve ever come across. You are in control of a line that gets longer and longer as you play. You are competing against another ever-lengthening line, and if you touch yourself or the other line, you die. If this game had died out with the first generation of home computers, it wouldn’t be on this list. The game, however, got another lease on life as cell phones became advanced enough to show simple graphics.
There was a time—roughly 2000-2001–when it seemed like every cell phone had this game packed into it. The inclusion of that game primed us for the inevitability of mobile gaming on cell phones. Before long, snake would be replaced with solitaire, bowling, java games, and eventually downloadable apps, but there was a brief moment when Snake defined cell phone gaming and heralded the arrival of the cell phone as a mobile gaming device.
For people who grew up with the NES, this game likely brings back fond memories. Excitebike was a simple motocross racing game that was recently revived for the Wii. The games simple mechanics made it easy to play but difficult to master. If it were just gameplay we were talking about, there’d be little to set Excitebike apart from its contemporaries.
Excitebike included something, though, that allowed it to stand out from other games of its era. It included a track editor. You could create your own tracks and race on them. Unfortunately, only Japanese gamers could save their tracks to disc to share with their friends; the rest of us created tracks, raced them, then created more. I reached a point where I was spending as much time creating tracks as racing on them. It wasn’t the first game to feature a level editor, but it was the first popular, mainstream game that I can recall featuring one.
This wasn’t a feature that other games rushed to copy. I think, though, that we have finally reached a point with the release of Modnation Racers and Little Big Planet where level creation has come into its own and made the leap from the DIY modding community into the mainstream. It’s taken 25 years, but this concept has finally reached fruition.
Gauntlet was a dungeon crawler that holds the distinction of holding a number of firsts. It was the first arcade game that allowed for different classes of characters. It was also the first four-player co-op arcade game. Level after level, you and three teammates rushed to kill hordes of enemies in order to make it to the level’s exit.
Gauntlet is an old arcade classic whose brilliance was never really realized on home consoles. Part of the reason for that is that the game was designed for an arcade experience. Specifically, the game was designed to eat quarters which created a sense of urgency in gamers that the home experience just could not duplicate.
Anyone who was around during the original arcade game’s heyday will probably have fond memories of this game, but the game’s luster has been dusted over as time has gone by. What this game did though can not be dismissed. This game was the first four-player co-op game, so every time you fire up a co-op game over Xbox Live or PSN, you are playing on the legacy of Gauntlet, which first taught gamers to look out for their teammates, communicate, and plan ahead as a group.
The easiest thing you can do to create a high profile for a video game is attach a popular brand name to it. Sometimes, this works, and sometimes it doesn’t. A variation on that theme is the celebrity endorsement. By 1987, celebrities came no larger than the former unified champion of the world, Mike Tyson. Nintendo attached Mike Tyson to the NES port of its arcade series Punch-Out! and a star was born (not Mike Tyson, but contender Little Mac).
What makes this game unique among games with celebrity licenses is that game systems finally had reached a point of ubiquity that a meaningful celebrity endorsement could help create a blockbuster. No matter how popular Larry Bird and Dr. J were, their game was never going to have the same kind of recognition as Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! is by no means an obscure game, but I think that its legacy is that it was the first game to demonstrate the strength of the celebrity endorsement. There were other boxing games that provided a more satisfying boxing experience, but, like Mike Tyson’s prodigious punches, his name on the game was something that could not be countered. It would be a full decade before another celebrity endorsement would prove as formidable. Tony Hawk took what Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! promised and delivered millions of sale over tons of sequels.
As much as I loved the idea of Parappa The Rapper, the game infuriated me. PaRappa the Rapper was arguably the first rhythm game to be developed for home video gaming. The gameplay was simple, you simply tapped your keys in sync with an on-screen display, as the characters rapped on-screen. What was infuriating about this game, for me, was that I felt like the rhythm aspect was unforgiving. Despite that, I still loved the game for having rapping characters and innovative gameplay.
Other rhythm games soon followed, most famously Dance Dance Revolution. From Dance Dance Revolution, it’s just a hop, skip, and jump to Guitar Hero and Rock Band, all of which utilize essentially the same gameplay.
You might suggest that the timing element introduced by PaRappa The Rapper had existed before. For instance, in many basketball games, your free throw accuracy was determined by timing your shot so that you pressed the button when an on-screen indicator was in a sweet spot. It was PaRappa The Rapper, however, that made that rhythm element the central focus of the game and added the music element. Without that I might never have spent hours trying to pass “Institutionalized” by Suicidal Tendencies in Guitar Hero 2. The irony is that there hasn’t yet been a great rap game to emerge from the rhythm game genre (in which I include karaoke games).
If you played computer games in the late eighties/early nineties, the name Sierra On-Line is probably very meaningful to you. Sierra On-Line created some of that era’s most popular computer games, including Leisure Suit Larry, Space Quest, and King’s Quest. The irony is that the company was never actually “online,” in the modern sense of the word, until it created The Sierra Network, released in 1991. The Sierra Network was an online community that allowed its users to create their own avatars and play a number of games, from casual games to arcade flight sims and RPGs together.
1991, wow. That was a time before the World Wide Web and Mosaic browser. To connect to The Sierra Network, you used a 2400 baud modem. That’s like a fifth the speed of current dial-up modems, and it was a time before unlimited access to the internet. That’s right, you paid by the hour to connect to The Sierra Network.
It was essentially a two-dimensional version of the same kind of online community for gamers provided by Second Life or Playstation @Home. It was just so ahead of its time with so few people who could actually use it that there was no way for Sierra On-Line to operate the service and keep it profitable. The idea behind The Sierra Network was sound, and people never gave up on the idea of creating online communities for people to gather and play games. Probably the most important lesson to come out of this was that there would be an audience for the online gaming communities the Internet made possible and that the key would be learning how to properly monetize them.
So there you have it: Six video games whose effect on modern gaming are indisputable and yet rarely get the recognition they deserve.
Jul 11th
On one of those cool, clear nights typical in Southern California, Warren G is driving around, looking around for women to have sex with. He’s chosen to engage in this pursuit all alone.
Nate Dogg, however, has just arrived in Long Beach, seeking Warren G. Ironically, Nate Dogg passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. He insists to the women that there’s no cause for the excitement.
Warren G makes a left at 21st and Lewis, where he sees a group of young men playing dice. He hops out, excited to find people to play with but discovers that they don’t want to play dice. Instead, they would rather steal his goods. Once they pull out their pistols, Warren G realizes he’s stuck.
Nate Dogg, meanwhile, is trying to avoid the women who saw him earlier. Some of them might be prostitutes, and he isn’t interested in prostitutes right now. As he evades the potential hookers, he sees Warren G being held up by some young toughs.
Warren G, unaware that Nate Dogg is nearby, can not believe he’s being robbed. In fact, he is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers would like to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.
Nate Dogg sees these unfortunate proceedings and realizes that he may have to shoot people with his gun.
Despite Long Beach’s reputation for crime, Warren G can’t believe that a hold up would happen there, especially to him. As he imagines himself escaping through supernatural means, he notices that Nate Dogg is there.
Nate Dogg has seventeen bullets to expend on this group of thieves and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares with Warren G the credit for neutralizing the situation, though clearly Nate Dogg did all of the hard work. In fact, Nate Dogg quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren G before letting Warren know that there are females nearby if he’d like to have sex with any of them.
Warren recalls that it was, in fact, sex with women for which he’d ventured out into the night and is thankful that Nate knows where there are women, who may or may not be prostitutes.
Nate soon finds the women he’d left before, one of whom likes chubby men. She comes up with a flimsy excuse about her car having broken down in order to persuade Nate Dogg and Warren G to allow her to come with them. Soon, Warren G and Nate Dogg are driving with a car full of women to the Eastside Hotel for an orgy, which reinforces Nate’s earlier suspicion that the women were prostitutes.
Warren G and Nate Dogg explain their G Funk musical style before Nate Dogg issues a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren G will regulate the situation. This could be taken to mean that Nate Dogg will murder them while Warren G stands nearby and shares credit afterward.
Jul 9th
The Fresh Prince begins by expounding on the universal inability of parents to understand their children, suggesting that neither time nor location would make a difference in parents recognizing their kids’ potential to err. He suggests, however, that it is incumbent on children to recognize the dimwittedness of adults and just accept it as a given.
To illustrate, Fresh Prince launches into the first of two vignettes, recollections from his own youth. In this first flashback, Fresh Prince’s mother takes him and the rest of the family shopping for school clothes at the Gallery Mall. At first, Fresh Prince doesn’t mind his mother’s efforts. Soon, however, she begins bugging. She begins selecting clothes for Fresh Prince that are horribly outdated, and he rebels, insisting that he does not want to look like a member of the rock band Sha Na Na. Unfortunately, she prevails, and, inevitably, the first day of school arrives. He goes to school where he is ridiculed, presumably because of his clothing. When he informs his mom, she retorts with the platitude that “if they were laughing you don’t need them ’cause they’re not good friends,” which, technically, is sound advice. Fresh Prince, understands, though, that the torment will not be a one-time occasion and attempts to convince his mother that mitigating the ridicule by purchasing more current clothing might be worth the effort. Unfortunately, she remains unconvinced. It is through illustrating his unsuccessful efforts at swaying his parent that Fresh Prince hopes he can convince other youths that the argument is not worth the effort.
Next Fresh Prince presents another scenario: In this situation, his parents have left town for a week, leaving behind their brand new Porsche (while his parents do not remain abreast of current trends in fashion, they are up-to-date on automotive trends). He experiences a moral dilemma over whether or not he should borrow the car but soon rationalizes that it would be ok if he were to take for just a little spin. While driving, he passes an attractive woman walking down the street. After getting her attention, he invites her to take a ride in the car. Understandably, she is wary of getting in a car with a stranger, but Fresh Prince soon convinces her that ownership of an expensive car should assuage any fears she’d have about his character. Convinced, she hops into the car and soon the couple find themselves at McDonald’s, which would seem to undercut the facade presented by the Porsche, but the woman is too interested in caressing Fresh Prince’s thigh to notice.
Fresh Prince is excited by having the girl’s hand on his thigh and begins speeding. Soon, they are pulled over by the police, who detain Fresh Prince but send the girl back home. It turns out she is a twelve-year-old runaway. The police inform Fresh Prince’s parents of the situation, and they return from their trip to take Fresh Prince home from the police precinct. Both parents, visibly upset, express their frustration through physical abuse. It is difficult for them to understand how easily a situation might arise in which a child would steal a car, pick up a prepubescent runaway with romantic intentions, and speed through a neighborhood. It is even more difficult for Fresh Prince to understand why they can’t understand how that might occur. So, one last time, he urges the youth of America to accept their parents’ lack of judgement.
Jun 19th
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you, is it a crime to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? Certainly, the answer becomes blurry if you are considering generic brands. Whether stealing bread is legal or not, the additional pilfering of jelly, cream cheese, or other suitable toppings should never be recognized as wrong because it is naked toast which is truly the crime against nature. I admit did steal the bread. I had to steal the bread to feed my starving family– the car, I stole, because the bread was in it! They say teach a man to fish… but what if you live in a landlocked state? I never had a chance to make good. Growing up, I was deprived of my childhood by a bully– he robbed me of my youth and laughed with his friends as they passed it around.
It takes a village to raise a child, does it not? Before you can have a village, you must start with a hut. Where have all the huts gone? Robber barons with fine-pointed moustaches stole them in the middle of the night and replaced them with ranch-style homes. But no one points a finger at the robber barons. No one remarks, “What’s up with all the robber barons roaming the streets? Will our kids be safe? Wait. Where are the kids… gone with the huts?”
In fact, this world I come from was no place for a kid to grow up, which explains, in part, why it was so difficult for me to crack 5’2″. A boy becomes a man and puts away childish things, but then he has kids and needs childish things once again. He curses himself for putting away childish things but knows what he must do! If a man steals a bike to placate his whining child, I ask you, is it a crime? Bikes and loaves of bread are OK to steal, but not my new Blu-Ray player. It’s not that the quality is great, It’s just took me a long time to get used to the remote control.
In fact, I blame society for this. Each one of you is as responsible for what transpired as I am. That leads me to wonder where you were during the hard part! Everyone wants to take credit but no one wants to put forth any effort. Well, shame on you! Society has been responsible for all the major crimes of at least the last forty-two years, yet a small guy like me has to take the fall. I feel no remorse for my acts! Like industrial espionage, mine were victimless crimes! Oh, why didn’t I go into industrial espionage? I had the opportunity but lacked the follow-through.